far away

busy like thats no tomorrow......... i wonder weather is worth the time working but still it was my choice from the start...... i really want to go to a place far away where i cannot be found......

since i don't know when i had started to like being alone like alone. i started to develop the fear of meeting new people. but my work had demand me to meet many different type of people even to some scary women who just cant be patient with you while receiving their cash or products that they purchase. sometimes i wish to scream into their face like real loud but then again who am i? im just some part timer lol. and from this few weeks of working i began to judge people and get frustrated so easily. when i come home after work im quiet i dont say much like what happen during work. don't get me wrong my work is good and kinda fun  i learn a lot of things that is beyond my age. one thing good about working is i get to think through a lot of stuffs that happen in my life and here was few of the things......

life is so freaking unfair like sooooo unfair. i join my church camp during one of the three days in ipoh ( my hometown). and one afternoon my mum took me for a walk around ipoh town and showed me her house and school and at the same time i realize homeless people sleeping around the streets and beggars begging for money ( they look kinda scary ). is real sad like rich people they can use their money to gamble and get drunk and all but here are poor people trying hard just to have at least one meal a day.......

besides, few weeks ago an uncle that i just meet....... died all of a sudden..... in his sleep..... no goodbye..... no word said..... just gone forever....... he was rich. his life was prosperous as a business man but then boom the next thing without any warning he was gone...... FOREVER

and i realize this:



life there are tough time and sometimes is like you can break down. your mind dont seems like working is like you are dead but still breathing. is like you are running out of breath. is like you just want to hide. is like you just want to fall into a deep sleep and never wake up........
but our heart is like the above pic up and down and up again. is the same as life. this only goes to show we are still alive. and life is just like that is the fact of life...........



but if our life is like the above pic where it seems so smooth and easy.......... it goes to show we are dead. come to think of it whose life dont have freaking any problem. if this is true they are not growing in life they are stunted.......... dead........

she told me once "if you see anyone really happy on the outward actually they are the once who are really depressed and sad...."

*im in no way judging anyone in this blog. all of this are just my thoughts. im not emoing just in case u think i am hehe.

till next time byeeeeeee